The Death of My Hopes and My Dreams in My Minivan

The conversing of Wednesdays goes something like this:

Husband: “So how was your day?”

Me: “I never leave my minivan.  My whole life is now in my minivan.  I drop off and I pick up.  But I do this all day long.  There are no other things.  Because there are all of these children.  And it gets confusing because I have all of the other moms…the amazing moms who help me with all of the drop offs and the pick ups.  We split the time…and yet…and yet I am spending all of my life, my very existence on this Earth, in my minivan!  And somedays I can’t remember which drop off I’m doing and which pick up I’m doing and which children I have.  I have to take notes about whose children I am putting in my minivan and whose children I am denying access because it is not their day.  There’s all these people and three schools and ambition!  Let me tell you about ambition!  Ambition is our daughter who joined an after school club because she’s so creative and smart and wonderful.  But this is a pickup, and it’s at the same time as another pickup at another school.  And then there’s the other daughter.  And she’s decided that she wants to develop brilliance this year and be honor roll material.  And they have given her a computer so that she can have up-to-the-second access to each of her grades.  And do you know what this does?  This creates another pick up.  This creates her need to go to school early and stay at her school late because this is when the help is available.  This is when tutelage happens.  And she wants this.  To keep her A’s.  And what does one say to this?  No?  I should think not!  One says YES to this!  That is what one says!  And so there is an earlier drop off or a later pick up.  It is another trip to the school or at the very least sitting in one’s car for an extra 45 minutes.  I am living in my minivan, I tell you.  LIVING. THERE.  And it’s not even nice enough to live in!  My minivan is not where I want to spend my living!!  If I am going to spend my decades in one piece of moving machinery, don’t you think I should have a luxury piece of machinery?  I need a vehicle that will talk to me.  I need it to have the ability to communicate with me because there are so few adults to talk to in my minivan.  I need leather seats and a blue tooth. I need it to serve me coffee and automatically vacuum itself because it loves me and because I have committed my entire 30’s to it.  My minivan…my minivan does not do these things.  My minivan is gray and sad.  My minivan smells like rotten milk and pee.  My minivan is dirty no matter what I do.  It holds so many things that no one will carry inside and I have to spend my whole days with these things that are not important enough to gain admittance into our dwelling space.  I am spending all of my days in an old moving piece of garbage holding.  This has become my way of living life.  Do you understand this?  My hopes and my dreams have died in my minivan.  They have been suffocated in the pit of rotten milk and pee.  Do you remember my hopes and dreams?  Do you remember them?  I do.  I remember all the time that I still had ambition and honor rollage.  And if I could go back in time I would warn myself.  I would say, ‘Self.  Think long and hard about those cute, chubby babies.  Because you can have one or two and maybe you’ll be fine.  But you won’t want to stop there, Self.  You will want to keep having those babies because they will make you feel so necessary.  But listen to me, you will pass the number of children that keep you in a Sedan or an SUV.  You will have so many of them that you will have to drive a people mover and it will be so sad.  And another thing, Self, those cubby babies?  They get bigger.  And they stink.  And their calendars will make you feel like you never had one of your own.  And you will take up residence in your sad van.  And you will start to think that maybe your mail should be forwarded there.  Listen to me.  I know these things.’  That is what you wish you could go back in time and warn yourself about so that when you’re sitting in another pick up line you will stop dreaming about your cute, little, red, sporty car from college.  These are the things I am doing.  My greatest nifty thing that I look at in all of the day is my snazzy sunglasses holder and the second mirror that flips down so I can see which child just hit another one.  DO YOU REALLY WANT THAT TO BE MY NIFTIEST THING?!?!  So my day was fine.  And I’m making sandwiches or hot dogs or cereal for dinner because there was no time for fancy things.  Because pick ups and drop offs.”


Husband: “A sandwich sounds good.  Do you want to watch TV?”

  12 comments for “The Death of My Hopes and My Dreams in My Minivan

  1. August 21, 2016 at 3:06 AM

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  2. May 30, 2016 at 8:42 PM

    What? You’re not listening to self improvement books and learning a new foreign language while you’re in your minivan? Time’s a’wasting! Hopefully what you’re really doing is writing more marvelous posts like this one. You can even use the audio mic on google docs over the internet. Please have your wisdom transcribed for more fabulous posts like this! Laughter truly IS the best medicine!

    Sharing your posts on Facebook BTW. 😉

  3. Rachel
    May 28, 2016 at 9:40 AM

    I am an 80 year old grandmother. I never did this car pooling thing but my daughter-in-law does. She is marvelous!! and a marvelous mother. And she does this and has a very responsible job too. My grandsons are thriving! As for me, I drove my 2 sons to school in the early years. Then school was nearby so they walked. I did not interfere with their teachers, their homework or choose their classes. Yet they managed to do well. Now one is a happy dentist. The other chose a simpler life and was a blessing to many but he is gone to be with God. He remains a constant reminder of how to spend my time beautifully.

  4. Kimberly
    May 27, 2016 at 9:29 AM

    Bahhaaa. I read your posts and say “I’d like to 9 be friends with this woman!” You speak my language (and apparantly have my life- mom of 4 here too [ and my van is, in fact, grey and dirty and smelly for all the reasons you describe hhahaha!]) Keep doing what you do! Knowing there’s another person or two that really understand where you live most days and can laugh about it and shake their heads with you over it all keeps you putting one foot in front of another to do it all again tomorrow! Blessings to you!

  5. Kelly
    May 25, 2016 at 8:41 AM

    I was seriously cracking up at this! I read it while in my messy, smelly minivan. I can so relate! Thank you for this. It really brightened my day 🙂

  6. Sara
    May 8, 2016 at 11:13 PM

    Thanks for sharing your day with us. We homeschool and often get asked “is today a school holiday.” I don’t know which is worse, having your kids with you all the time or being stuck in the minivan! Because of pregnancy complications – we stopped at 2 (boys). But I definitely understand what your mom said – I said the same thing – no minivan – we drive a Honda Accord – which will be passed down to the oldest who will be driving soon!! Thanks for the laughs. I joined your site after the Target blog – thought it was right on!

  7. Sue Pittman
    April 28, 2016 at 7:39 AM

    There was a time in my life when I drove daily 20 miles to work in another town and each day I passed a big billboard. On my lunch hours I would run to farm equipment places to pick up parts for my husband or run to school supplies places to pick up stuff for my Junior High daughter. It hit me that my husband and my daughter were plastering THEIR signs on my “billboard of life,” and I never got to put up MY sign on my billboard. I understand your minivan life. Thank you for sharing!

  8. Anne
    October 15, 2015 at 10:07 PM

    Great insights and a delightful read! Wow, this is so my life! However, my kids are spaced so far apart that the mini van and pick up phase started in 1999 and will end in 2023.

  9. Mom
    October 15, 2015 at 9:00 PM

    I remember when you swore up and down that you would NEVER drive a minivan. Look at you now…never say never!!! ???❤️

  10. Jake Myer
    October 15, 2015 at 6:59 PM

    Only you can think like this ! I’m blessed to have you in my life so I can read about your wonderful creative life ! You are amazing at writing !!! And it is always fun to read what you have to share from your experiences !!! if you get hungry while waiting in pick up line im sure you can find some food from the months past in your seats ! “Like our cars “

  11. Sandi
    October 15, 2015 at 7:30 AM

    You crack me up! This is so amusing to read…but yet so very true!

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