Target Bathrooms and the Straight, Conservative Preacher’s Wife

First of all, my need to write a blog to address an issue as stupid as Target and it’s bathroom policy proves exactly two things:

1. This country is absurd.

AND

2. We all get our panties and underpants and gender-neutral underclothings in such tight-wound wads that it’s a wonder any of us can even breathe.

 

Let’s get all of my personal facts out on the table before I tell you where I stand and why.  I am a Christian.  I believe in Jesus Christ as my very personal Savior.  I love Him, and I believe He loves me along with every single person on this planet.  Without exception.  I am straight.  I am married to a man. He is a pastor which makes me a pastor’s wife by default.  I’m not always a very good one, but I’m an honest one, so my church at least has that going for it.  I am a mother.  I have four beautiful daughters, and I would start World War III to keep them safe.  I am politically conservative, but I have stopped identifying with the Republican party because I think that the whole of Washington has lost their ever-lovin’ minds…across party lines…it’s the one thing they have in common.  I believe in the Bible.  I believe that every word in it is true.  I believe what the Bible says about homosexuality, but I am NOT a homophobe.  Because I also believe what the Bible says about loving people.  ALL people.  Without exception.

 

It’s nice to meet you.   Now that you know the filter through which I am processing this whole #BoycottTarget debacle, you might be surprised to hear me say that I am still shopping at Target.  I love their Dollar Spot, and they have cute shoes. (<—This is humor.  Soak it in and lighten up.)

 

The backstory as I understand it: Target has come out and said that they are now going to allow people to go into whatever bathroom they “gender identify” with.  So if a man identifies as a woman, he is now welcome to use the women’s restroom and dressing rooms.  If a woman identifies as a man, she is now welcome to use the men’s restroom and dressing rooms.  And the whole country has lost their minds about it.  I understand.  There’s great concern from both sides.  The left feels the need to protect the transgendered community, and the right feels the need to protect their values. They have great concern for the safety of their children were perverts and pedophiles to take advantage of this new policy.  So in response, the conservative right has started a movement to boycott Target and the liberal left is living in renewed determination to hate the “homophobic Christian community.”

 

Does that about sum it up?  So glad we can all get along.  (<—That is dripping sarcasm.)

 

Since we have established the basics of the boycott, let me tell you why this straight, conservative preacher’s wife and mother of four young girls is still going to shop at Target:

 

  1. Target is not any more liberal this week than it was a month ago.  Target has ALWAYS been a liberal company and if Christians took even 5 minutes to do a Google search (except if you’re boycotting liberal companies, you’ll have to use a different search engine because hello Lefty-Liberalton!) they would find this to be true.  Target has NEVER claimed to be a conservative, Bible-believing company.  Because they aren’t.  They hold hands with Starbucks, another flamingly liberal company whose CEO takes a yearly vacation solely on the dollars he earns from the coffee addiction of my very own preacher husband. If I was willing to spend my (errrr…husband’s) hard-earned dollars at Target a month ago (when their bathroom policy was exactly the same) then there doesn’t seem to be much reason to withhold those dollars now.  *Also note the HUNDREDS of other LGBT supportive companies Christians should be withholding business from if they’re really serious about all this boycotting jazz, including, but not limited to: Amazon, Apple, AT&T, CVS, Disney, Ebay, Facebook (say WHA?!?), Microsoft, Nike, Office Depot, Pandora, Twitter, Visa…just to name a few.
  2. I am a supporter of the Hobby Lobbys and the Chick-Fil-As and the Christian bakeries and all the other companies that want the freedom to stand up for what they believe in.  I think it is W.R.O.N.G. when they are forced to either close or comply for maintaining their values.  That being said, it seems a bit hypocritical not to allow other companies (Target, in this case) to do the exact same thing.  We can’t have our cake and eat it too…especially if the Christian bakeries all close.
  3. Target offers a family restroom for our family convenience that we tend to frequent.  Why? Because there are a bunch of us and when everyone has to pee, it’s easiest for this mommy to keep them confined in one small room, with a lock on the door, where no one can escape.  This is still an excellent option to be utilized, but there are others.
  4. We can pee before we come, we can pee when we leave or we can pee in our pants if we’re that terrified of what we might find behind the restroom door.
  5. I am capable of accompanying my children to the main restroom if the family restroom isn’t available. I would like to pretend that I am an amazing mommy who ALWAYS goes to the restroom with her children 100% of the time, but in all reality there are 4 of them so we have been known to do the buddy system, and Mommy continues to shop.  However, I will now simply accompany my kids into the main restroom when we’re at Target because IF they ever come across a transgender person in the women’s restroom, they might be confused.  And let’s be honest, they might be a little scared.  But if Target’s bathroom policy works as it’s intended to, they probably will never know the physical gender of the person washing their hands at the sink next to them.  (Please Note: I am NOT in support of every Tom, Dick and Harry waltzing their way into the women’s restroom just because they FEEEEEL like it.  I assure you that if I have even the slightest check that something is amiss or that the person in the restroom is there to do anything other than empty their bladder or touch up their lipstick, the police will be my new BFF.)
  6. Transgender people have never hurt my children.  But believe it or not, a whole bunch of church people have.  (Oh, yes, I said that.  Hand slap.  See how that honesty bit gets me in trouble?)  What does that mean?  It means that ANYONE is capable of hurting my children.  ANY.ONE.  And it’s my job to keep them safe.  In the restroom, in the parking lot, everywhere.  But what if they did see a transgender person in the restroom?  Would the world really end?  No.  Because I would then have the opportunity to explain to my children, who don’t have any choice but to grow up in this messy world, that there are some people who feel like they are different and like they don’t belong anywhere.  We could talk about what Jesus would do and how He would expect us to love them and how we would feel if we didn’t belong anywhere.
  7. The perverts and the pedophiles don’t care about Target’s policy.  Sure it’s one less obstacle in their way, but you really think a store policy is going to keep them from what they desire?  Probably not.  They can find children unattended in all kinds of places (including the Target toy department, if we’re being honest.)  And right now, they’d be stupid to step foot in a Target restroom while everybody is up in arms.  But if they do, if the perverts and pedophiles decide to hang out in the women’s restroom, Target will have Hell to pay for their decision.  That’s on them. Women and children need to be paying attention to their surroundings just like when they’re at the park and when they’re at the grocery store after 10pm and when they’re at church (shoot, I can’t even help myself).  Pay attention to your surroundings because perverts and pedophiles like other places besides Target.
  8. THE BIG ONE: This boycott is doing more damage to the Christian cause than it’s helping.  Don’t get me wrong, I believe in standing up for our rights and in what we believe in.  But this isn’t a “right.”  This is a privately owned company setting a policy in place.  They are free to do that in America.  Whether we agree with it or not.  And we are free to take our business elsewhere.  But with a public temper tantrum?  For the sake of what?  Of proving a point?  Don’t you see that the other side, the side that doesn’t know Jesus, the side that looks to Christians as the hands and feet of a Savior, don’t you understand that all they see is fighting?  Is hatred?  I understand both sides.  I really do. But do you really think this boycott is going to grow your church next Sunday.  Do you think this display of “Jesus” is going to make the lost think “Oh yes, I want what they have.  They are such a loving bunch.”  I don’t think so.  Maybe continuing to shop at Target isn’t about laying down to the left but about responding differently to those who are different.  Instead of a boycott couldn’t they know us by our love?  Wouldn’t that be a different, BETTER way to handle this situation, an unexpected response?  Wouldn’t responding in love turn the head of the critic?  Wouldn’t there be a better chance that he might say, “Oh.  They aren’t throwing stones at me.  Maybe they do have something different to offer.”  Jesus specifically said in John 13 that “they” would know we were His by our love for each other.  You don’t really think He intended that we exclude “them” from that love, do you?  He never said they would know us by our boycotts, by your stubborn stance for policy and procedure.  Somehow that sounds a whole lot like the Pharisees He fought against, not the messy people with whom he purposely spent His time.  And I just really think that if He were here, if Jesus were walking the Earth today, He would be standing outside that Target bathroom…not to freak your children out…but to tell that transgender teen who is so confused and alone that He loves him, that He died for him, that He has more to offer him than anything he will find here on Earth.  I think He would much rather be inside Target with people who are broken and messy than outside of Target signing petitions to make the outcast feel a little more shunned.  Also, with all the Christians gone, it seems like Target might just be the best mission field in all of Suburbia.

But what do I know.  I’m just a straight, conservative preacher’s wife.

 

*A Final Note: Everyone, let’s keep open minds.  I wish we could all step back and take a moment to walk in someone else’s shoes.  But for real.  Both sides need to set their stubborn pride down and breathe.  This is the reason Lamaze was even created.

To the left: please listen to yourselves.  You throw out the word “tolerance” like it is your love child, conceived and birthed in some spectacular fashion.  You carry it around like your trophy, your greatest contribution, but as soon as someone voices a differing belief (most notably for religious reasons) you turn around and use your tolerance trophy to bludgeon them into a bloody pulp.  Then your stance for tolerance is no longer credible.  Because you can’t demand tolerance and never truly offer it in return.  It’s not tolerance if you always agree with those you tolerate.

To the right: I know you’re freaking out.  I know you don’t feel heard.  I can hear every single one of your arguments running through my head like a broken record.  I live in your world and I agree with many of your things.  But please be careful.  You’re allowed to stand up for yourselves, but watch the attitude in which you do it.  I know some of the left can be abusive to you and what you believe, but don’t return abuse with abuse.  I had a Christian, someone I actually know, call into question the salvation of people who continue to shop at Target.  Legitimately.  And I quote, “if you’re really a born again Christian you will not even cast your shadow on their front door.”  And 27 people just went to Hell because after reading that they don’t want your Christ.  They don’t want Him if this is how He treats people.  So PLEASE!!!!!!  This is about more than being right or wrong!!!!  This is about how we handle ourselves!  This is about REAL LIVING PEOPLE IN NEED OF THE JESUS THAT WE KNOW (or say we know).  All I’m asking is that you show kindness when making your decision.  I don’t care one way or another if you ever step foot through the doors of Target again, but for the love of all that is holy (seriously) PLEASE be kind.  And offer mercy.  And grace.  And love.  That is not the same thing as having your beliefs trampled on.  Just walk it out in love.  REALLY step back and ask yourself how you think Jesus would handle this whole thing.  And then walk accordingly.  But remember who you represent, because that includes me.  And I know too many people who are too important to lose over something as eternally insignificant as Target and their bathroom policy.

  157 comments for “Target Bathrooms and the Straight, Conservative Preacher’s Wife

  1. Wendy Yates
    April 28, 2016 at 12:34 PM

    As a straight, Conservative, Christian pastor’s daughter with two precious daughters and a fabulous husband, I can honestly say you have missed the target, pun aside, and wasted your theological blogger breath. This Target boycott is not about Christianity. It is about common sense safety and our freedom to decide not to support a business.

  2. Alex
    April 28, 2016 at 12:33 PM

    The only thing the left are uniformly intolerant of is intolerance itself. Note that even Jesus wasn’t tolerant of everything; he threw the money-lenders out of the church and he wasn’t nice about it according to the Biblical account.

    No one is bludgeoning you with a tolerance trophy, they’re genuinely offended that people make it their business to look down on and discriminate against people.

    It might seem hypocritical to you, but I am ok with this. If the intolerance of the Christian right were harmless, I would tolerate it, but people are trying to legislate their intolerance, and this is where the line must be drawn. Christians can hate gay people, trans people, and abortion all they want, but the moment they start passing laws, my tolerance ends.

    That’s my moral code, and I am nothing if not consistent.

  3. Beth
    April 28, 2016 at 12:32 PM

    I don’t have the time to read EVERY reply,so I apologize if this was already addressed, but my question is not about loving the transgender, or the safety of sharing restrooms. While I agree that calling for a boycott comes off as bulllying or hateful, I am trying to decide if I should use the finances that God has blessed me with to support a company that may give part of its profits to support and encourage a practice that God detests. Jesus may stand outside the bathroom to show love to the transgender, but would He spend His money there? I want to honor Him in how I spend my money…how do I apply this here?

  4. Karah
    April 28, 2016 at 12:32 PM

    Thank you for this blog post. It is so sad that it’s had little impact. For those who truly believe that this policy somehow makes them more unsafe than they were the day before this policy went into effect, can you please share the data that supports this position? I have not yet heard any hard facts that places with neutral restrooms and changing rooms have seen an increase in the number of assaults, or cases of indecent exposure or increased reports of violation of privacy. If you are truly attempting to preserve the safety of children please share the data that supports your position!

  5. Julie
    April 28, 2016 at 12:30 PM

    It’s nice to see a Christian viewpoint that is rational and not fear-mongering.

    However, there are a couple of little things I wanted to point out.

    Referring to a trans woman as a “man who identifies as a woman” and using the pronoun “he” shows a lack of understanding about transgender people. In the minds of many, a trans woman is just a man in drag who “thinks” he is a woman, and you will always think of “him” that way. But a trans woman is a woman, period. Cis people find trans folks to be “weird” or “sick” because they try to think of it as “I would never want to be the opposite sex,” when in reality, you should be thinking of it as “what if I looked like the wrong gender, and everybody thought I was something I’m not?” The fear and disgust comes from a fundamental misunderstanding of who trans people are and how they identify.
    Gender is not binary, and even on a genetic level there’s so much more than just XX and XY.

    The idea that those on the left preach tolerance but then don’t tolerate religious beliefs is also an oversimplification. It’s one thing to respect the religious beliefs of others – of course we should absolutely do that – but when those beliefs are actively trying to restrict the rights (rights that Christians freely enjoy) of other people, that’s where the line of tolerance ends. I refuse to respect anyone who thinks their religion should dictate policy. Religion is a personal thing, not a political thing, and nobody has the right to say “my religion says this is wrong, so it should be against the law.” Also, it’s very difficult to tolerate the belief that as aspect of who someone is is automatically a sin. You can say “hate the sin, love the sinner” all you want, but to someone who is gay or trans, the message is “we love you because we’re supposed to, but we think who you are is an abomination.” Nobody hears the “love” part, no matter how loudly you say it. They see a bunch of fake people who will smile and offer a handshake or hug, but then shake their head sadly and say “I need to pray for them” as soon as their back is turned. Nobody wants that kind of “love.” We can agree to disagree, but when you tell people that their “sin” is a choice, and you don’t support their “lifestyle,” it’s very hard to tolerate that. We have kids being tossed out by their parents because they refuse to hide or give up who they are, and it’s because of religion. We have conservative Christians claiming that homosexuality is just as wrong as pedophilia, and that only serves to stigmatize and breed disgust toward those in the LGB community. That can’t, and shouldn’t, be tolerated.

    This comes from the position of someone who was once there. I spent the majority of my life being a very strong Christian, I’ve been on that side of the fence and I’ve said all the same buzzwords and phrases. I know how easy it is to feel like a persecuted victim of “the way of the world,” and I know how much to hurts to feel like people don’t get what your belief is all about. But if you really spend some time getting to know the people you casually dismiss as abominations, you’ll understand how things look from their point of view, and you’ll begin to wonder how you can claim to be their friend while also believing that a fundamental part of who they are, a part that hurts nobody, is flat out wrong. It’s very difficult to feel okay with that. And the more uncomfortable I became, the more I began to think it was a little bit ridiculous that I’d base my attitude toward others on an ancient book that’s been cobbled together in bits and pieces and translated over and over again to the point that nobody can really even agree on what it all means.
    So no – I have no problem with Christians, and everyone is free to hold the beliefs they want to. Freedom of (and from) religion is a great thing. But everyone is certainly not required to tolerate beliefs that seek to diminish or destroy the rights, freedoms, and basic human traits of others, and THAT’S what those on the left are fighting against.

  6. LC
    April 28, 2016 at 12:27 PM

    I would ask that you read this. I didn’t write it but I easily could have. It seems to me that dismissing thousands upon thousands of victims of abuses concerns isn’t walking in love either. You say that pedophiles (not talking about the transgender community here…talking about pedophiles and rapists) don’t care about rules. But while there still is a rule that men cannot enter a woman’s restroom, it gives us the ability to call the police and have them removed. Easier access makes for more victims.

    Gender identification, unified restrooms (and eventually school locker rooms, public pools etc…that is already being bandied about in my home state)….is not the answer.

    We need to find a solution that does not compromise one group in order to help another. I cannot stress this enough.

    I hope that you never have to look back on this post because someone you know and love has been abused and regret your words.

    [url removed]

  7. April 28, 2016 at 12:25 PM

    I wholeheartedly agree with you, Jack Lambert. Thank you for boldly & lovingly proclaim what I believe Jesus would be saying. And LIVING! My heart breaks for the Transgendered people I know, and I especially know their parents, grandparents, & loved ones appreciate they’re now able to go to the bathroom at Target knowing they won’t be treated unfairly for it. ? I hardly ever shop at Target because I find non-toxic options at a cheaper cost & a higher quality elsewhere & I prefer giving gifts with this higher quality too, however I don’t have a problem buying things there as needed.

    I had been debated whether I would spend the time to write what God spoke to my heart & share with others, but you kinda stole the words right out of my mouth (although skipping the pastor’s wife). I do believe it’s in each & every Christ follower to get to know someone who looks different from them & put aside any differences & even take the initiative to do so… All in the name of our living Lord & Jesus Christ!

  8. Sarah
    April 28, 2016 at 12:19 PM

    Thank you for this, it was beautifully and clearly written. Thank you for how well and concisely you expressed the feelings I’ve had about the petty issues we fight over when there are such bigger problems we need to be united toward. The strength of your love for Jesus and His love for all of us brought tears to my eyes.

  9. April 28, 2016 at 11:41 AM

    While I agree with many of the points said here, this bit really sticks in my craw.

    “Don’t you see that the other side, the side that doesn’t know Jesus, the side that looks to Christians as the hands and feet of a Savior, don’t you understand that all they see is fighting? Is hatred?”

    Baked into this is the assumption that those on the Left — like myself — cannot or do not know, love, & serve Jesus. Many of us do. It also assumes that LGBTQ people do not know, love, and serve Christ. Millions of LGBTQ Christians disprove that.

    And that is why LGBTQ Christians and/or Liberal Christians do not stand silently by while hate and otherness are legislated into law.

    We know that LGBTQ people are the way that God created them in his love for them, and that they are not afflicted or “burdened” by it –others make it a burden for them.

    We know that God loves his LGBTQ children and does not want them to live forced lives of loneliness. Consider this video on what Bible really says about Homosexuality — [url removed]

    And finally, “For all of you who were baptized into Christ have clothed yourselves with Christ. There is neither Jew nor Greek, there is neither slave nor free man, there is neither male nor female; for you are all one in Christ Jesus.”

    Jesus does not love his LGBTQ followers differently, nor are they less than in his eyes. He would not want them oppressed and humiliated. He teaches us to treat others as we ourselves would like to be treated.

  10. April 28, 2016 at 10:46 AM

    I am a progressive Christian Transwoman. (yes, there is such a thing as transgender Christians!) On behalf of all aspects of my life and identity – thank you for your voice of reason. And if anyone “afraid” of the transgender community would like to talk with someone actually in that community before continuing on in fear – please visit my blog and send me a message. We can sit down or a virtual cup of coffee and add to that CEO’s vacation fund.

  11. April 28, 2016 at 9:44 AM

    Thank you, although I don’t 100% agree with everything you said it is nice to read something by someone who doesn’t just gloss over the love one another bit of being a Christian to the “hale, brimstone and damnation.”

    I think you are right, there are bigger problems in this world than who pees in what bathroom. Concerned something will happen to your kids, get off your lazy ass and go with them.

    And how about we have a bit of compassion (another thing that Jesus taught us) Can we for one second put ourselves in someone elses shoes. By the grace of God I am a woman, in a woman’s body, that is how God made me and life is pretty tough. However had he made me a female soul in a males body or vice versa this world must be so much harder.

    We as Christians need to show love and compassion, not judgement and hatred.

    Looking around today, I would say the only thing wrong with, and detrimental to the Christian faith, are the church and the people in it.

  12. April 28, 2016 at 9:26 AM

    Hi, I’m Lance, one of those lefty progressive liberals that listen to NPR, watches French films, has an indie rock collection and takes up for my LGBTQ friends at every opportunity. So, yeah I’m one of those people ruining the country.

    I just wanted to say hello, I like your sense of humor, and although I disagree with you politically, I agree with you religiously and I find you funny, interesting and thoroughly readable. I think you may have saved the internet in some sort of way.

    God Bless and see you in the t-shirt section, someday.

  13. Josh Menold
    April 28, 2016 at 7:57 AM

    People don’t educate themselves just spew their personal view and if it feels good we latch on. This is a shameful article. If you followed the beginning of this bathroom thing you would realize it is really about government control. The Charlotte NC ordinance that started this gave a committee the ability to shut churches down and any business that didn’t yield to their agenda. Due to that it forced the NC legislative body to respond and they had to define this for PUBLIC facilities. THE whole media has blown this out of proportion and Christians who should be diligent citizens as God has called them are lazy and just respond to media one liners. That is what is sad. If you want a biblical perspective on what we as Christians should do then read this [url removed]

  14. April 28, 2016 at 7:49 AM

    Amen Sister!

  15. April 28, 2016 at 7:09 AM

    I am a liberal, believe in God (which you infer one cannot be both) and I want to point out one thing, conservatives want to insert their values into others lives. I believe adults have the right to make their decisions and at the time they meet God he will judge. And by the way ladies close and lock the door to your stall. Lets not judge others that is between God and them and I believe he can handle it without our help.

  16. April 28, 2016 at 4:49 AM

    I’ll never understand why a species that was supposedly made in Dad’s image seems to always find the silliest things to argue over. Are people really so naive that they cannot spot when their own elected lawmakers are leading the attention away from themselves and onto yet another minority group? The liberals are abusive, the conservatives are overzealous, blablablablabla. You’re all the same thing. You just like to wear different masks and some of you go to church on Sunday and some of you go to brunch at 11:30 AM and day drink mimosas. You’d do well to remember that when you have your blood drawn at your doctors that it’s all the same color. The biggest perverts you good folks should be afraid of are the perverts in your political arena. They give even me the creeps and I don’t let them in down here when it’s their time. They go to a little bodega outside of Purgatory and watch Catholics wander in and out.

  17. April 28, 2016 at 2:26 AM

    I love this post. It’s so easy at times for athiests such as myself to see Christians as a bunch of intolerant right wing nasties, but it’s not true. There are good people and bad people everywhere, and you just reminded a lot of people of that fact. I bet your husband is an excellent preacher and your kids are lovely. Excellent post 🙂

  18. Cindy
    April 26, 2016 at 11:06 PM

    You said you believe every word of the Bible is true.
    Deuteronomy 22:5 A woman must not wear men’s clothing, nor a man wear woman’s clothing for the Lord your God detest anyone who does.
    Genesis 1:27 So God created mankind in His own image, in the image of God he created them: male and female. “God does not make mistakes, no one was born with the wrong body”
    Psalm 139:14 We are fearfully and wonderfully made. His works are wonderful.
    We must extend grace to others no matter what type of sin. As God extended grace to us. But we don’t compromise the word of God. Sodom and Gomorrah was destroyed, I know it was not destroyed by transsexual, but because of there sin. We are in a sinful nation and as Christians we are compromising to the world. It is time we began to pray for revival and stand on the word of God. When we give in to compromising we are turning away from the Lord.
    I don’t shop Target because of the liberal views nor do I go to Starbucks. I have a choice where I spend the money that God gave me. I’m not judging you if you want to shop there go ahead your choice. I try not to support places that goes against what I believe. I do think they should have another bathroom and dressing room for the transsexual. Respect our privacy. Soon we continue down this road. They will have boys and girls taking showers together at school. It has got to stop somewhere.

  19. JC
    April 26, 2016 at 11:04 PM

    Thank you!! Very well said. I have no problem with a transgender person in the bathroom. I suspect many already do use the bathroom they identify with. However, I do believe we are asking for trouble by making such policy’s and in some places putting it into law. However, every company has the right to set its own policy and every person has the right to take their business elsewhere. Its just sad we think we must make such a stink about it. The hatred and anger I see from those who claim to follow Jesus is just sad. I think you are far more likely to “go to hell” for such than for darkening the door of Target. God is about Love not hatred.

    More people are hurt by those who claim Jesus than those in the LBGT community. If we lived like Jesus did all would feel loved and included instead of alone and ostracized. Anything we do that causes another to stumble will be judged far more than any sin committed by those who don’t know him.

  20. Charlotte
    April 26, 2016 at 11:01 PM

    Hi there! I really appreciated this perspective. However, I just wanted to point out that in terms of who you are talking about, it’s just transgender. By adding the -ed to the end, it implies that they are past and dead, which isn’t true. It’s a thriving community and I appreciate how you address it!

  21. ROBIN
    April 26, 2016 at 11:01 PM

    I can ‘love others’ without accepting their lifestyle into my OWN LIFE or RESTROOMS or CLOTHING CHANGING ROOMS… it’s like the old saying goes “1st we ABHOR, then we ACCEPT, then we EMBRACE.” … and I WILL NOT EMBRACE THIS CRAP

    A ‘PASTOR’S WIFE’ SHE SHOULD KNOW BETTER

    Leviticus 18:22 – Thou shalt not lie with mankind, as with womankind: it [is] abomination.

    1 Corinthians 6:9-10 – Know ye not that the unrighteous shall not inherit the kingdom of God? Be not deceived: neither fornicators, nor idolaters, nor adulterers, nor effeminate, nor abusers of themselves with mankind, (More…)

    Leviticus 20:13 – If a man also lie with mankind, as he lieth with a woman, both of them have committed an abomination: they shall surely be put to death; their blood [shall be] upon them.

    Romans 1:26-28 – For this cause God gave them up unto vile affections: for even their women did change the natural use into that which is against nature: (More…)

    Exodus 22:19 – Whosoever lieth with a beast shall surely be put to death.

    Romans 1:26 – For this cause God gave them up unto vile affections: for even their women did change the natural use into that which is against nature:

    Romans 1:29-32 – Being filled with all unrighteousness, fornication, wickedness, covetousness, maliciousness; full of envy, murder, debate, deceit, malignity; whisperers, ( More…)

    Leviticus 18:1-30 – And the LORD spake unto Moses, saying, (More…)

    1 Corinthians 6:9 – Know ye not that the unrighteous shall not inherit the kingdom of God? Be not deceived: neither fornicators, nor idolaters, nor adulterers, nor effeminate, nor abusers of themselves with mankind,

    Leviticus 18:15-24 – Thou shalt not uncover the nakedness of thy daughter in law: she [is] thy son’s wife; thou shalt not uncover her nakedness.

    Furthermore, this situation is not about whether we love Jesus or whether Jesus loves transgenders. This is about safety and privacy of women and girls who enter a bathroom or a changing room.

    btw.. Target has REVERSED Restroom Policy After Receiving Boycott Threats…
    THE PEOPLE HAVE SPOKEN AND WILL CONTINUE TO DO SO!

  22. April 26, 2016 at 10:51 PM

    I’m trying to understand the target (ha!) audience for this post, and I guess I can assume it’s conservative, evangelical American Christians. Mostly because at the very end you talk about the “left” bludgeoning religious people to a bloody pulp and the “right” feeling like they’re not being heard. Since I try to read and be a part of things that are outside my experience (I’m super tolerant) I get this post. I do. I’d like to give you some background on me:

    I’m 33 with 3 boys
    I was sexually abused by my grandfather and assaulted by “boyfriends”
    I was manipulated and abused in my first marriage.
    I’m in my second marriage.
    I used to be a progressive Christian.
    I’m an atheist.
    I volunteer at my church.

    I absolutely 100% agree on your position about Target having the right to affirm what trans persons have always been doing. It’s a tumultuous political time, and they felt the need to combat NC’s new unenforceable “law”. I’m with you on that, totally cheering next to you. Points 1 through 6 I could have written myself! Love it! But point 7 … religion is a deeply personal thing. (If it isn’t, you really need to evaluate) and those are aren’t religious do always feel like we have big targets (HA! again!) on our backs that we’re always one sentence away from being preached to. You “not throwing stones” is not going to get us to think about God because that’s just what decent people do. What WILL get us to think more about it is if all the homeless in your city have avenues to housing and food. If instead of a huge church renovation, you’re helping single mothers with childcare so they can work better jobs for a better life. If we don’t constantly FEEL like a project (which, honestly, we do) then we’re more likely to have the good deep conversations that I know impact people. I’ve been there, it’s good. That’s why I still attend and even volunteer at my church, after my deconversion. I believe so strongly in the good they are doing in the community and the genuine love they show to me and my family that I’m willing to open my mind and heart to them every single week. I’m not a project there, I’m a welcome member.
    So, to the point about tolerance – I don’t bludgeon anyone, and I feel that whole paragraph is seriously skewed against people like me. What tolerance means is that we’re going to accept the fact that we’re all different. That’s it. If you aren’t “tolerant” of what science and psychology and neuroscience and statistics say about body dysmorphia and close your ears and brain off to anything other than “God made only males and females except sometimes he made intersex people or sometimes they had missing sex organs but that’s because we live in a ‘fallen world’ and they should try to be as normal as me who does not struggle to meet society’s expectations” then I will tolerate that you exist, but I won’t tolerate you in my space. I will make my words bigger than yours, my voice louder. I sincerely do not care one tiny bit if “the right” doesn’t like what “the left” has to say if it saves a life. If one trans teen who was kicked out of their home at the most vulnerable time in their lives chooses NOT to kill themselves, then I will SCREAM “tolerance” louder than the right can shout “BE LIKE US!”.

  23. Shelly
    April 26, 2016 at 10:44 PM

    You know what drives me craziest about this while thing? If we’re to assume that the majority of pedophiles and perverts are men who see the restroom as the perfect hunting grounds, why are “we” only concerned about protecting our daughters? Our sons, who have been sharing the same restroom with them all along (some probably using the urinal out in the open), are somehow safer than our daughters? What message are we sending our boys if we don’t have the same passion to their innocence and what message to our girls if we act like they’re more in need of protection?

  24. Jenni
    April 26, 2016 at 10:44 PM

    I encourage all Christians to love people
    enough to deliver a message of truth. As one of the Baltimore Raven players said,
    “love is not love if it sacrifices truth. And that truth should not be held hostage by fear.” Just because the world wants to shape the definition of love to be acceptance and belligerent tolerance does not mean that is what God’s love is all about. 1 Corinthians 13 says love rejoices in the truth. Truth is – these folks need to understand that their choices are going to have consequences that will last an eternity. It will not be pleasant. So do we really love them if we say nothing and acknowledge their lifestyle as acceptable by tolerating their foolish choices? Hence, they never have a Life
    change because they never thought it was a problem to be transgender and deny the very DNA that God created within them. Be careful what you define as love. Love them enough to be honest. Jesus did. He never condoned sin.

    • JC
      April 26, 2016 at 11:08 PM

      You will bring more people to Christ with Love than with in your face “Truth”. If truth is not given in love and with the persons best interest at heart but with judgement then it is not from God. You will never change someone with this attitude. Only God can affect lasting change and he does it with love. Sometimes it is a slow process. Some need a soft touch not a baseball bat. It sounds like you think everyone needs a bat and that will only turn people away from God not bring them closer.

  25. WarEagle82
    April 26, 2016 at 10:40 PM

    You miss a few major points in your analysis. Target has always been a liberal company, pushing a liberal agenda.

    But now, they are actively abetting predators preying on women and children.

    They weren’t doing that two weeks ago.

    Something has changed, and when the facts change, my opinion and actions change to deal with the new facts.

    Target is actively making it easier for people to prey upon women and children in their stores.

    I put up with their nonsensical anti-firearms policy but I am a large male who can defend himself. But I am not going to willingly put my wife and children at risk to save 35 cents on a bottle of bathroom cleaner.

    I can buy it at Walmart for about the same price, while carrying my sidearm and rest in the knowledge that they aren’t escorting men into the restrooms and changing rooms.

    Shop where you wish, but I have signed the petition and called Target to let them know I won’t be back while their war on women continues.

  26. Lily
    April 26, 2016 at 10:33 PM

    Thank you for this. I was molested by a clergy member in the church I went to as a child and walked away from Christianity the moment I was old enough to make that decision. At 35, I occasionally consider visiting a church, but every time I hear all of the hatred, fear-mongering and the blatant disregard of the lives of fellow men and women who are, frankly, all ready victimized enough (read the statistics on the bullying, attacks and suicide rates of those in the LGBT community), I just can’t. Honestly, I am afraid of church and afraid of the Christian religion. I wish more than anything that opinions such as your were not so rare because maybe then your faith wouldn’t scare me.
    I have some wonderful friends who are trans. They are not out to victimize anyone. They just want to do their business. I’m more worried about the kid with his mom in the next stall peeking into mine then I am about them. That’s just awkward.

  27. Alex
    April 26, 2016 at 10:28 PM

    So, in amongst all this arguing about bathrooms, did anybody happen to read about the TWO leaking reactors in the US? I’m gonna guess probably not. This is how the media and those who control it choose to hide things from us, by flooding social media with bullshit like this. What a joke.

  28. Cami
    April 26, 2016 at 10:25 PM

    To me this isn’t just about a bathroom. This is about an underlying agenda to normalize sin. This is a slow deception to get you and me to recognize these lifestyles as being normal and being okay and it is being done through the absurdity of who can use a bathroom. The tolerance and acceptance of this is pavement for the next thing. Stand firm in the Word of God and be careful of the world’s distraction over an argument about bathrooms.

    • Molls
      April 26, 2016 at 11:00 PM

      It’s only sin in your book. To me all LGBT people are normal. They are my friends. They are humans. People tend to forget that.

  29. Marriann Dennis
    April 26, 2016 at 10:19 PM

    Well written. Thank you. I shared it on FB but when people clicked the link it said “Forbidden”. Stumped.

  30. Liz
    April 26, 2016 at 9:57 PM

    I taught at a school 28 years ago that had a transgender student. The grandmother raised him as a girl. Not his choice to begin with but he saw himself as female. She could not use the boys locker room as she would get beat up. The girls in the school accepted her completely. Whether she was to use the male or female restroom, we cleared the restroom prior to her entering. She dressed for gym in the nurses office. Men that didn’t know she was transgendered hit on her. It’s amazing to me that a school in the hood was more accepting of her 28 years ago than people are today.

    If we could all just treat others as we would have them treat us…

  31. Jeff
    April 26, 2016 at 8:52 PM

    This article really made me think…you make a lot of excellent & true points (particularly the big idea of whether or not to shop at Target…we don’t have one, problem solved). Loved it. I also think that bathrooms are pretty safe territory due to stalls.

    I guess my question and concern is what do you do with the locker rooms? You know that’s coming. It will be demanded that your teen daughters change in the same locker room as a teen boy because he doesn’t feel comfortable in the boys locker room. Is this fear…yes. Is it going to happen in the next 5-10 years…I guarantee it. Do we let it happen to show our love for Jesus and love for others?

  32. David
    April 26, 2016 at 8:51 PM

    Thank you for your article. I so appreciate the balanced view and your love for all people. I am a gay christian democratic father and I endorse your message!

  33. Erica
    April 26, 2016 at 8:48 PM

    Chalk one up for God on this one! Speaking from the left side, “Amen, sister!!”

  34. Ellen
    April 26, 2016 at 8:46 PM

    Thank you for this! I loved the “Pharisees” comment! That runs through my head almost daily on some point or other. I sometimes feel as though my Jesus & other people’s Jesus are 2 totally different fellas. Mine doesn’t let me believe that my sin is not as bad as others. Or that I deserve love & grace more than others. Instead, he helps me see that some people need it more, and he uses me to help provide it. Thank you for letting me know I am not the only one following this guy!

  35. Jen
    April 26, 2016 at 8:46 PM

    A THOUSAND-MILLION-TRILLION TIMES AMEN!!!!! Well said and thank you!!!

  36. Brooke
    April 26, 2016 at 8:46 PM

    I would like to comment on “transgender” I have a medical background specifically in OB
    And pediatrics if you don’t know what hermaphroditism is please educate yourself about it. Also, 1 in 2000 people are born with for example female organs on the outside and male organs on the inside literally no amount of radiography can dispute these medical facts. I do not believe that “homosexuality” is not a sin don’t misunderstand but hermprohdites are real 2 in 1000 people are born with both sex organs and when you look it up and read on you’ll become educated with the more rare but true medical fact I mentioned as the later.
    Anyways, your blog post touched my heart
    Also, It is our job as parents to protect our kids not the government or anyone else’s but ours. Not targets or any other of the world company. Amen sister in Chris amen

  37. Jennifer
    April 26, 2016 at 8:45 PM

    I’m pretty left. And I was a little nervous clicking this link. But, man, am I ever glad that I did. This is a wonderful article. I love this article so much. So refreshing to read something written with such intelligence and clear love for all of Gods children.
    So, I thank you for giving me something on this subject to share with others.

  38. Just a mom
    April 26, 2016 at 8:44 PM

    In any target I’ve ever shopped in, the men’s and women’s dressing rooms were right next to each other.
    The restrooms are right next door, usually.

  39. Kristi
    April 26, 2016 at 8:42 PM

    I read this with an open heart and glad that I did. Then I read the comments… I didn’t listen to that little voice that says “don’t read the comments…don’t read the comments…”
    I grew up in a Christian home, went to a Christian college, was married in a church, have raised my 3 children to be Christians, including homeschooling them for 5 years. A few years ago I began to seriously question my faith due to the hatefulness and divisiveness slung by the religious right and community of which, I was very much a part. I keep thinking “if this is how God wants his people to act then he’s no God for me. Wait, maybe there is no God, just a bunch of people acting like self-righteous jerks under the guise of a belief system that allows them to indulge the worst parts of themselves without feeling bad about it. In fact, they seem very much to delight in it.” And that’s where I’ve sat for a few years now. This article gives me a glimmer of hope that maybe that the God of love and acceptance really is true and real after all. And then I read the comments…

    • Aubrey ShayLeigh Dominique Velosian
      April 26, 2016 at 10:59 PM

      I’m with you…

  40. Chris
    April 26, 2016 at 8:39 PM

    Very well written, but I stopped shopping there because, well, they sell cheap trinkets at high prices like Starbucks does – the packaging used to get me every time. Maybe people need to be focusing on better stewardship rather than worrying about restroom policies. We started a goal to purchase quality over quantity and only what is good and right for our family. It took a while, but as the shimmering glamour of places like these soon began to pale, we began to see more money in the bank AND are now able to give more away for something that really matters. Just $1 a day can feed a child for a year rather than buying junk from the dollar aisle. Something to really make one reconsider shopping at Target…

  41. Sue
    April 26, 2016 at 8:33 PM

    Maybe we should have one bathroom for those who have penises and another for those who have vaginas. Until now, that’s what I thought we had only they were called mens rooms and womens rooms. For pete’s sake…I don’t see why we have to change to accommodate .03% of the population. We had to stop prayer and public Christmas celebration to accommodate non-Christians, and now I am being asked to share a public bathroom with someone who has a penis? Ludicrous!

  42. Atheist
    April 26, 2016 at 8:24 PM

    I’m kind of in love with this letter. When I get together with my fellow atheistic liberals to sneer about Conservatives and Christianity **, I’m going to point to this and say, but wait, look, here’s an example of Christianity that’s strong and fine and all about love. If I could make a leap of faith to a God (which I can’t–I’ve tried) I’d want to jump to your version.

    I absolutely love it when I read something I deeply understand and agree with from someone I probably disagree with on nearly every topic (except the nuisance of herding kids in public bathrooms).

    What’s the opposite of cognitive dissonance? Cognitive harmony? It’s the best thing, ever.

    –a secular bleeding heart type

    ** we don’t get together for sneering or plotting, not really, except perhaps on-line where everyone gathers to sneer.

  43. John P. Johansson
    April 26, 2016 at 8:20 PM

    I don’t care what you “identify” with. If you have a penis, you are a man. This is nothing more than the liberal, everyone gets a trophy crowd. Trans are statistically low with respect to child molestation. It is the pretend trans that is the problem. Can we quit catering to .001% of the population?

  44. April 26, 2016 at 8:20 PM

    Well-said. I’m sad for both sides.

  45. Mary
    April 26, 2016 at 8:19 PM

    Great article. I agree 100%, with the exception of point #7 where you say “This is a privately owned company setting a policy in place. They are free to do that in America. Whether we agree with it or not.”. I agree this should be true, but it was not true in the case of the bakery who made a policy not to make gay wedding cakes and were sued. Privately owned companies should be able to set their own policies, and then live with the results if people decide to continue to do business with them or not. Unfortunately, the current climate in America seems to be to support the very liberal viewpoints, but not Christian viewpoints.

  46. Davey
    April 26, 2016 at 8:12 PM

    As a very liberal atheist, I would like to say (without even a whiff of sarcasm) hallelujah and amen, Preacher’s Wife. Or, “atta girl!” which is more my style. 🙂

    You are, across the board, spot on. The insanity, the other-ing, the battle cries and talling points echoed in place of thoughtful consideration from both sides of the issue all need to come to a screeching halt.

    I am a mom of two and am proof that a “women only” restroom doesn’t make it safe, as I was once cornered in a restaurant restroom by a very masculine man, a stranger who followed me in with bad intentions. I got out, luckily, because a staff member just happened to walk in. Even with that experience and being a super protective mom, don’t disagree with Target’s policy and will be cruising the Dollar Spot and hunting for cute shoes just like you.

    Thank you for sharing your opinions, and, from my outside perspective, being a Christian who behaves the way Jesus would by loving others and treating them as you’d like to be treated.

  47. Tammy
    April 26, 2016 at 8:08 PM

    I love what you have written, it is wonderful.

  48. L R M
    April 26, 2016 at 7:58 PM

    1. I thought this blog post was very well thought out and balanced…which is really refreshing.

    2. The Target issue isn’t about what is right or wrong. If businesses had to follow what Christians do/do not want, we would be living in a theocratic government or dictatorship- which is not the way things should be.

    3. Christian colleges and universities are allowed to pick and choose who they will accept as students and also make rules for those who attend. Therefore, it is only fair that Target also be allowed to make decisions about their company based on what they believe.

    4. My husband and I would love to welcome someone who is transgender over to eat dinner with us so we can make them food, hear about their life, be friends, and encourage them. Because that is what Jesus did. Yes there are things the Bible clearly states are right or wrong…but I am not being forced to become transgender by this new Target law, in other words I am not being made to do anything out of line with God’s Word and until His Kingdom comes we have to live in this one. And it is our job to care about other people. No one, and I mean no one is going to listen to the message of the Gospel if they are talked about like this. If they come to know God and have a relationship with Him, He will take care of what needs to be said- that is rarely our job as Christians- and usually only applicable when in a discipleship or community context.

    5. I was molested by my dad……I never had any problems in public bathrooms. I have concerns too…I don’t mean to write off anyone who has ever been hurt this way. We need to protect our children from sick people who would take advantage of this situation. But I don’t think that is the real issue here. There is a heart problem in the church, they need to look inside themselves at what is going on first. The church needs to address the fact that my dad- and I’m sure I’m not the only one in this situation- is still preaching and never was called to answer for what he did to me. The abuse shelter that welcomed us when we left him (because he had guns and was getting violent) was run by many helpful people…. some of whom would identify as Lesbian or Transgender. And you know, to this day I am ashamed about the things I said to them when we stayed there. None of them said they were Christians….and yet in them there was something of Christ and His care for others.

    Now I am really not about fighting. This is just to present another perspective…. perhaps something else to consider.

    • Aubrey ShayLeigh Dominique Velosian
      April 26, 2016 at 10:56 PM

      Thank you.

  49. Delores
    April 26, 2016 at 7:56 PM

    Don ‘t forget that Satan has a free rein here on this earth and I ‘m sure he is really enjoying how his fold is growing. You can go back and forth and put man’s/woman’s opinions, likes and dislikes first and foremost in your life or you can humble yourself and listen to God’s word. We are in the days of Grace and we all have choices to make.

  50. Pam Jurkowski
    April 26, 2016 at 7:55 PM

    Would you please run for president!!!

  51. Angie
    April 26, 2016 at 7:49 PM

    Anything, absolutely anything is now acceptable in this country. We are losing all of our rights to keep ourselves and our children safe. This is not about love or hatred. This is about losing our safety. This post shows me how important it is to boycott Target. If this country is to fail, it will fail from within. We are losing more of our rights every day under the false pretense of fear of offending someone.

  52. Natalie
    April 26, 2016 at 7:48 PM

    Thank you for saying this so well. Now if I could just memorize it all and recite it when the topic comes up in conversation.

  53. Laurie
    April 26, 2016 at 7:36 PM

    I believe this is extremely well written with lots of sense – I think we, who want to boycott Target, just don’t like Target’s attitude! Maybe I’ll get over it and maybe I won’t

  54. Leslie
    April 26, 2016 at 7:33 PM

    This woman’s position makes logical sense to me. Love, respect, understanding and tolerance should come from either side of this topic. Even in the midst of acceptance, we are not all destined to agree. In this imperfect world, it’s impossible to please everyone and we’re deluding ourselves if we think that we can. So, no need for a big brouhaha or sweeping boycott. If you’re uncomfortable with a store policy, simply quietly take your business somewhere else where you feel safe and welcome.

    I may not agree with everyone, but I love, accept and respect EVERYONE… regardless of sexual orientation or gender identity. But I’d be lying if I didn’t admit that it concerns me a bit that this Target bathroom business indicates that men (not transgender…. but MEN, period) can legally use my bathroom or changing facility. Personally, I find gender neutral public bathrooms a bit uncomfortable. For lack of another bathroom alternative, I used several of them during the 3 years I lived in China. Honestly, it felt weird to have a man gawking at me while I adjusted my slip or bra or while I applied my lipstick or powder at the sink mirror. (Vainly, I prefer to emerge from the ladies’ room magically flawless, with the men being none the wiser regarding my private beauty rituals.) Felt even weirder to know how easily the man in the stall beside me could see into the 1 inch crack between our adjoining toilet partition doors. While Target’s position provides an illusion of “inclusion” for a minute percentage of the population (a population whom I’m quite certain have already been using their bathroom of choice for many years), it also opens the door to legally allowing a man with devious intentions (under no pretense of identifying with or being a woman) into the women’s bathroom or dressing room. Here’s to hoping the pervert population equals less than zero because their stalking grounds just increased. That being said, I still intend to shop at Target because it’s conveniently located, and I like their stuff. But if I need to use the restroom, I’ll go to Walmart (lol).

  55. Alice
    April 26, 2016 at 7:28 PM

    It’s like you reached inside my brain and pulled out my thoughts! You wrote them so much for eloquently than I would. Love you for being a voice of reason. We all need to be more aware of our children’s safety no matter where we are!! Thank you dear sweet pastor’s wife. You rock!!!

  56. Angela
    April 26, 2016 at 7:28 PM

    Thank you. I wish I were near you so I could go to your church! My beloved grandmother was a pastor’s wife. She was a beautiful, loving, warm, gracious soul who believed in God’s love. Period. She was one to always teach us to love our neighbor. I always remember her saying, “God hates the sin, but he LOVES the sinner.” That was her approach to life. Love. We are all sinners. Spread God’s love. You completely reminded me of her in the most special way.

  57. Lisa Burnette
    April 26, 2016 at 7:11 PM

    Thank you. I had a different pastor’s wife try to convince me that her boycott of Target was related to safety of women and children and when my victims advocate/lawyer friend showed the flaws in her arguments, she got all in a huff and spouted that verse from Deuteronomy that is used to call the trans community “abominations.” Your way, especially point #3 was what I was trying to get her to see.

  58. Mary
    April 26, 2016 at 7:10 PM

    Yes, Jesus did draw in the sand and asked the woman where are her accusers; but, He then stated go and sin no more! He never stated that He loved and accepted her just the way she was! Christians can show mercy and grace, but if there is no repentance of sin, then you are condoning that lifestyle! Dig deeper people, beyond grace and mercy! This is more than transgenders using any restroom; you are buying into Satan’s demise of character and discipline…he slowly creeps into your commitment to holiness…

  59. Lori
    April 26, 2016 at 7:05 PM

    THANK YOU!! You have climbed into my head and penned my screams! I am a Jesus loving, Southern BAPTIST (gasp), Sunday School teaching, Bible study leading, moderately (I guess) conservative Christian, and this is the first time I’ve read anything that has made sense to me. Living on earth isn’t about our RIGHTS, it’s about loving Christ and making Christ known. Nothing about this boycott says Jesus to me. And if we aren’t about the business of Jesus, we are wasting our time and more importantly, hurting our cause.

  60. Me
    April 26, 2016 at 6:55 PM

    I don’t disagree…but you’re only mistake is that Target is a privately owned company; it’s a publicly traded company.

  61. Jenny
    April 26, 2016 at 6:54 PM

    Well said. I agree with about 99.9% of what you said. You mentioned that Target is a privately held company and can do as they wish. Why doesn’t this hold true for the bakers or the photographers that refused to offer services for weddings of same sex couples? I guess it goes back to your tolerance statement to the left.

  62. Heidi
    April 26, 2016 at 6:54 PM

    30+ years ago, I was a 7th grade girl in a Target bathroom. While I was in the bathroom, a man came from another stall and peeked into my stall. I remember saying, “What are you doing?!” He left, and I walked out of the stall, washed my hands and walked out of the bathroom looking all around. I wouldn’t have been able to ID him, but it scared me to death. This was back when bathrooms were in the back of the store. I never told my parents, never told the store, but I know I was vigilant whenever I went into a bathroom after that. I still hate stores that have bathrooms in the back. My 3 children are always accompanied into bathrooms. (Except my 16 year old son…I let him go by himself :)) My almost 7 year old son will go with me into bathrooms for another 5 years at least!

  63. Peg
    April 26, 2016 at 6:52 PM

    Stores could extend to he walls to floor and ceiling if they want customers to feel more comfortable. I think I may go to family bathroom. I still think it is wrong for 99% to cater to 1%. Maybe every store needs a single bathroom like family bathroom for all of the inbetweens.

  64. Amy
    April 26, 2016 at 6:50 PM

    I feel like we could be best friends. Read the blog post I wrote today ( [url removed] ). We share a lot of the same sentiments. And I have twenty kids too. Okay, just four so far… but I have a fifth little one incubating on the inside. I make a lot of babies. And I love them and will protect them with every fiber of my being, but I seem to have a different idea from a majority of American Christians on what protecting my kids looks like. Anyway, thanks for this post, I genuinely enjoyed it!

  65. cassie
    April 26, 2016 at 6:49 PM

    Just want to say I love this! And I love you! Kudos!

  66. Patty
    April 26, 2016 at 6:43 PM

    Unfortunately, not all Targets have family restrooms.

  67. Jennifer Corry
    April 26, 2016 at 6:37 PM

    “Transgendered people have never hurt my children”

    Sorry, I meant to address this in my last comment. Here’s the thing: most trans people want privacy and safety too. But a few alleged trans kids, while causing no physical harm, have caused other harm to other kids in schools by demanding use of the opposite sex’s locker rooms. They have absolutely no right to do that and lost their credibility as people just wanting privacy by insisting in barging into the private shower rooms of kids vocally uncomfortable with them being there. I don’t care about or mind trans girls using my restroom; I won’t know the difference. But THAT kind of rude, selfish spectacle of behavior is also happening right now, among our youth, and some people support that and went so far as to libel the people who spoke against it, including in the first case the young girls who didn’t want a physical BOY in their showers. The nasty slanderers of these girls included the boy in a dress who demanded use of their change room and refused his own gender-neutral locker room, calling the girls bigots. These sickening people, trans or otherwise are WRONG and I will call them out on it. I hope if your children learn of such horrid bullies, you’ll do the same.

  68. Roger Lewis
    April 26, 2016 at 6:32 PM

    You keep referring to “transgenders”. There is no such animal. There is male and female. That’s all folks. Feeling your a woman when you’re a man or visa versa is a mental disorder, not a third or fourth gender.

    • BLS
      April 28, 2016 at 12:21 PM

      Thank you for pointing that out Roger! It is true, man is a man, a woman is a woman.

  69. Jennifer Corry
    April 26, 2016 at 6:27 PM

    I appreciate your points and address of both sides, but it should also be clear that not everything is about being gentle and “loving”. Christians are getting more and more angry about the complete lack of logic we see everywhere.

    “We can pee before we come, we can pee when we leave or we can pee in our pants if we’re that terrified of what we might find behind the restroom door.”

    You say that so glibly, as though no one’s ever had reason to fear what they might find. You may wish to read some accounts from truly frightened survivors of abuse who are not happy with this at all.

    • Tammy
      April 26, 2016 at 10:19 PM

      Everyone has a story and a hurt. Just the way it is

    • Evan
      April 26, 2016 at 10:44 PM

      “We can pee before we come, we can pee when we leave or we can pee in our pants if we’re that terrified of what we might find behind the restroom door.”

      Transpeople do all of the above for fear of who might be in the bathroom. It’s not a hypothetical situation. The transperson is more scared of you that you are of her or him.

  70. Kathleen Arnold
    April 26, 2016 at 6:22 PM

    Most powerful article I’ve read in a very long time. You are truly a woman of God and an inspiration to us all.

  71. Amber
    April 26, 2016 at 6:12 PM

    Whether I choose to support Starbucks, Target, etc, is a decision for another day. But I do have a question. If we make a decision to shop at Target to show our love as believers, what are we doing while we are there besides just spending money and being nice to people? We can be godly anywhere, without giving our money to these companies. Are we actively sharing the gospel as we peruse the decor and dollar bins, or just making public statements about how godly we are by not participating in a boycott?

    • Eric
      April 26, 2016 at 7:05 PM

      Exactly! Well said.

    • Ellen
      April 26, 2016 at 8:38 PM

      If you feel led to shop elsewhere, that is understandable & you should follow that path. It’s about joining the hypothetical (or maybe literal) picket line & degrading some of the people who need Jesus’ love the most. But you can spend your time & dime at (insert optional retailer, all that comes to mind is Walmart) while quietly & gracefully making your point. Just as we aren’t to pray in public out of pride, I believe we aren’t to prey in public out of hate. That is what I took from this & my response to, what I feel, is a legitimate question.

    • Courtney
      April 26, 2016 at 10:32 PM

      I do not mean to be rude, but genuinely want to know how boycotting Target would be “showing love as believer?” (I’m a believer as well)

    • BLS
      April 28, 2016 at 12:19 PM

      Boom! Can’t wait to read the reply.

  72. Paul
    April 26, 2016 at 6:09 PM

    I appreciate the tone that you set in this discussion and this rare opportunity to see this topic discussed in a mature, honest way – a true miracle in the comments section!

  73. Julie johnston
    April 26, 2016 at 6:06 PM

    Thank you for this post! “Amening” every word you wrote. I hate the Target bathroom policy, not only because it is glaring proof of the insanity our culture is in, but also because I have 2 autistic daughters. Two precious little girls who do not understand why one cannot prance naked out of a bathroom or what the difference between a girl or boy is or even have the capability to defend themselves or speak up if the have been taken advantage of. Policies such as this make my job of teaching and protecting them infinitely more difficult. However, I’ve purposely sought out and shopped at stores that offer family bathrooms, so this will not really change things up for me. I do admit, I’ve laughed to myself at Target’s mindset. If their entire purpose is making men who feel like women more comfortable going into a women’s bathroom than going into a bathroom with other men (and vice versa), how does this really help those men? Because now they will find themselves in a womems bathroom….with other men. So, pretty much back to square one.

    • Aubrey ShayLeigh Dominique Velosian
      April 26, 2016 at 10:43 PM

      Trans women are not men.

      They do not think like men, nor behave like men, nor beat their chests in displays of dominant masculinity.

      Trans men on the other hand… you know, the ones that North Carolina wants to force into the ladies room… DO think and behave like men. And sometimes are given to displays of dominant masculinity. At least, all the ones I know do…

  74. April 26, 2016 at 6:03 PM

    This is the best article I’ve read on this subject. I’m a conservative Christian who believes that Jesus does want us to love everyone, but was completely confused about how to respond to this. No, I don’t like the bathroom sharing thing one little bit either. But, you said it perfectly! In a way that I’m not eloquent enough to express, so THANK YOU!! I will be sharing this. God bless you and all of this Jesus needing world!!

  75. mirtha
    April 26, 2016 at 5:51 PM

    Thank you. For your honest and comical, sarcasm splattered, piece. I don’t know who you or how I arrived at your blog but i enjoyed it.

  76. Sarah
    April 26, 2016 at 5:44 PM

    Thank you, this is amazing. I love your open mindedness (is that a word?). You have not only summarized a divisive situation in an exceptional way, you have broken the sterotype of a preacher’s wife. I love that you speak your mind, to me, honesty is the very core of a marriage, a life, and Christianity. Thank you, thank you.

  77. Megan
    April 26, 2016 at 4:45 PM

    Thank you for sharing this. I very rarely engage publicly in issues, but just shared your blog to my Facebook page. I know many fellow Christians upset with the normalizing and even celebrating sinful behavior in our society. I agree this is a huge problem, but more disturbing is our failure to love one another and follow Jesus’ example. I also love your point about tolerance.

  78. Heather
    April 26, 2016 at 4:20 PM

    In a world that is clearly losing it’s mind at an epic-ally rapid pace, we have the choice to stand with arms raised in protest, or look through a lens that is filtered by God’s truth and grace. This world and its choices continues to break the heart of our Savior. Every last bit of it. But He loves each and every one of us, and as self-described Christians, we need to mimic Him in our actions… we need to reflect His heart here on earth, and be ambassadors for His Kingdom, which requires us to show His Love for all humanity. Your article is genuine and I do believe the reaction Jesus wants us to have. We as Christians and followers of Jesus do not have to agree or endorse the world view, but we should definitely not be chasing people away from Christ by how we choose to respond. Thank you for what I can say is the best post I have seen on this subject.

  79. Carmen
    April 26, 2016 at 4:18 PM

    I appreciate what your saying here. The only thing I’d like to remark on, is the sentence about your daughter might be frightened by seeing a male in the bathroom. Transgender means they also dress like the opposite sex. She would see a woman. Not a male so she wouldn’t know the difference.

  80. Catherine McClendon
    April 26, 2016 at 3:59 PM

    I agree with your comment, “They have great concern for the safety of their children were perverts and pedophiles to take advantage of this new policy.” There are at least two documented cases that I know of where this has already happened. For me, the concern is not about feeling bad for the poor transgender who can’t decide which bathroom to go into, but that Target has presented a ‘legitimized’ opportunity for a pedophile to prey on my grandkids. The best way I have to avoid this problem is to take my shopping elsewhere. This is not about participating in a political movement. This is my personal choice.

    • Vicki Moore
      April 26, 2016 at 5:27 PM

      I so agree with you. We must look at the big picture here!! If everyone treats this like no big deal and continues to shop there it shows them how little we care…..which is what has got us here in the first place. I’m so proud of the folks that have stood up and said enough is enough.

    • Dawn
      April 26, 2016 at 7:43 PM

      For those so concerned about safety, where is your outcry and demand for a law to keep sex offenders from using public restrooms? Wouldn’t that go further in protecting our children than this boycott? Doesn’t that make more sense than all of this?

      • Kim
        April 26, 2016 at 8:24 PM

        I 100% agree Dawn!

    • April 28, 2016 at 12:18 PM

      Well said. It’s not worth my grandkids innocence and I can certainly shop lots of other family places. Advertising the invite is what is wrong with Target. Too bad complacency blinds people to not take notice that this is just another dig to tear down families! Transgendered have been using their preferred bathrooms for years. They know who they are. But to give open call to all men who “feel” feminine to enter a dressing room or bathroom, isn’t right! It’s a huge slap in the face to families. Pedophiles and pervs now have been given “rights” at your child’s expense. This will be a gold mine for attorneys at the expense of innocent victims. No thanks Target. Better quality and deals at Kohls!

  81. Kevin Carney
    April 26, 2016 at 3:40 PM

    In all this talk about the possibility of perverts hurting your daughters in public bathrooms I’ve seen no mention of the fact that these perverts have had and continue to have access to public bathrooms where your sons are.

    Is this not an issue somehow?

    • Heather
      April 26, 2016 at 4:25 PM

      If I’m not mistaken, she’s discussing her personal situation and views here. She states in the beginning of the article that she is a mother of four daughters, and mentions no sons. I’m guessing she hasn’t discussed her sons because she doesn’t have any, not because it’s not a concern for boys, as well.

    • T P
      April 26, 2016 at 4:44 PM

      Kevin,

      Since the author has 4 daughters she cannot speak to your question about concern over perverts in the men’s room. I can though. My sons had to accompany their mom into the women’s public restroom until they were old enough that I could send them together into the men’s restroom. Looking back, I know there were times when this embarrassed them as they grew older. Some women’s restrooms had a posted age limit for male children.

      I cannot tell you how many times I have seen a dad nervously waiting on his daughter outside the door of a public restroom and how many times I have checked on a daughter for a dad.

      Perhaps with all the concern over gender identification, If I had to do it all over again in these times, I might choose to quietly stand, with eyes averted, inside the door of the men’s room and allow my young sons to use the restroom of their choice.

      • Karen house
        April 26, 2016 at 6:35 PM

        I have stood outside the men’s restroom for boys to be able to go potty. I found men to be very kind when the would walk up and I would not let them in til the boys came out. Yes I have walked in men’s restrooms to make sure they were empty before letting my boys go in. Boys are very much at risk. I was very particular letting them in the restrooms. By the way my “boys” are 30 & 35. We didn’t know anything about transgender only about the evil that roams the world. You as the parent have to protect your child!

    • Laurie
      April 26, 2016 at 4:51 PM

      So true. And also? Transgendered people did not just appear last month. In all likelihood, they have been in restrooms and dressing rooms for decades. In fact, I know they have. No big deal.

    • N
      April 26, 2016 at 5:13 PM

      More than likely that’s because she’s writing from her perspective and, per the article, she has four daughters (and no mention of any sons), so their safety is her inherent focus and concern. That’s not saying that the “fact that these perverts have had and continue to have access to public bathrooms where your sons are” is not an issue either. Though I doubt she really needs to explicitly mention that side of things for the readers as that issue can be easily inferred anyway.

    • Julie
      April 26, 2016 at 10:31 PM

      As a mother of 3 boys, I absolutely agree!

    • BLS
      April 28, 2016 at 12:17 PM

      Very true Kevin. I am glad you bring up this point!

  82. Gina
    April 26, 2016 at 2:24 PM

    Thank you! I feel the same way. I wasn’t gonna go to target again, not really my favorite store anyway, but I 100% agree…we have to show our Love as Jesus does and we can’t do that standing on the ‘outside’. God Bless

  83. April 26, 2016 at 1:54 PM

    I read your blog with tears in my eyes. Aside from the Pastor husband (mine leads men’s ministry) and the four kids (I have two), you could have been writing my words. My heart has been so broken, not because I have to make a conscious decision to continue to shop at one of my favorite stores, but because we, as the Body of Christ, are missing what is really at stake here. I laughed when you said that your children have never been hurt by a transgender person. The reality is, they probably did not know they were sharing the restroom with a transgender person. Somewhere along the way, we have begun to believe that being gay, lesbian, or transgender makes you evil, it doesn’t, it makes you sinful. But, aren’t we all. Isn’t that why Jesus came for in the first place, because we are sinful and needed redemption? Well done Preacher Wife.

  84. April 26, 2016 at 1:23 PM

    I am also a straight conservative pastor’s wife and this situation is not about whether we love Jesus or whether Jesus loves transgenders. This is about safety and privacy of women and girls who enter a bathroom or a changing room. This is about the fact that if nothing is done in response to Target… other companies might feel like they should do the same.

    We should have the right to a reasonable sense of security and privacy when using the restroom or the changing rooms. Though Target might offer family restrooms, they don’t offer family changing rooms and even if they did… it doesn’t mean that other businesses would. Jesus once overturned tables and God’s wrath destroyed cities. I think that He is proud of those who stand up for what we believe is right.

    And no… I don’t think anyone will go to hell simply because of their choice to continue shopping at Target. But, I do think that you have this all wrong. You think this is about hate toward transgenders when really… most of us aren’t worried about the .03% of transgenders in the country. We are worried about the safety of women and children. There have been 17.7 million women sexually assaulted in this country… we don’t need to make it easier for predators.

    • Kristen
      April 26, 2016 at 3:38 PM

      I’m sorry, what has stopped predators from going into women’s restrooms in that past? Nothing. And what has happen over all the past years that transgendered people have been using the bathroom of their choice (because, FYI, they have been)? Also, nothing. Women do get attacked in bathrooms – by men who are not dressed up. Men don’t need to dress up to do it and if they wanted to, this law wouldn’t stop them.

      Please stop the fear-mongering.

      • Allison K.
        April 26, 2016 at 4:57 PM

        Agree with Kristen. Likely, most of us have pottied in the same restroom as a transgendered person. You better be more afraid of a hetero male pervert molester in the same bathroom as your boy child than a transgendered person. You will be able to spot a pervert or a person posing as a transgendered person pretty quick.

        -from, a wife and mom and a believer in Jesus Christ who loves each and every one of us!

        • Jennifer Corry
          April 26, 2016 at 6:24 PM

          Yes Kristen, this does make a difference. I mean really? if laws won’t stop anyone from getting hurt, maybe we shouldn’t bother making laws like this to protect trans people either. You and similar people miss the point ALL the time: in the past, men had to sneak into female restrooms. Now, men can waltz right into the women’s restroom AND dressing room, WITHOUT even disguising themselves. Did you know that? They’re making the rooms NEUTRAL.

          • Richard
            April 26, 2016 at 7:57 PM

            The having to sneak into the restroom is stupid cause I have used the woman’s restroom without realizing it cause I just really had to go and happened to just walk into the wrong one. Went to a golden corral that had the same layout as another but the restrooms were flipped.

          • Ashley
            April 26, 2016 at 8:11 PM

            These laws have actually been in place for years, in many states… with zero increase in any abuse. And please tell me which rapist or molester is really worried about the law??? I’m going to go with zero.

            signed,
            a christian mom of three -including two daughters ☺️

          • Kim
            April 26, 2016 at 8:17 PM

            Jennifer, I hate when people who’ve missed the point call out someone else for missing the point. Any man waltzing into the ladies room (thank goodness we have stall doors, even if one did!) that does not clearly identify as a female is clearly breaking the rule. Identifying as a woman means LIVING as one. And just because Target has this bathroom rule, it does not mean that they are a country onto itself. All the laws that protect you anywhere else still apply. It’s still illegal to rape or molest or violate another’s privacy. And it’s still your responsibility to remain diligent about your own safety and that of those in your care.

      • C
        April 26, 2016 at 7:55 PM

        FYI you can’t say “nothing” has stopped predators from entering g before as simply assigning the bathroom to your sex is definitely a deterrent as it would look extremely out of place and very visible prior to the policy change.

      • Max
        April 26, 2016 at 8:51 PM

        Oh my goodness. It’s the people that will CLAIM to be transgendered to go into the women’s restroom that concern us. And it’s already happened. Four REPORTED arrests already. And at least one of them exposed himself and solicited A CHILD! You can’t stop wicked people from finding ways to prey on others. But you don’t have to make it easier. A wolf may get in and kill your livestock no matter how hard you try to prevent it, but that doesn’t mean you leave the barn door open.

        Stop the hatemongering against those of us that don’t want to make it easier for creeps to get into places they shouldn’t be.

    • Sara
      April 26, 2016 at 5:07 PM

      Transgender people have always been using the bathroom they identify with. This was not even an issue to be thought about 3 years ago. But because some political party wanted to stir up fear and hate in religious Americans, it’s now an issue. Did you know you sometimes cant even tell some people used to be anothet gender? These sexual assults have happened and not because Trans go to the bathroom they look like. If you see a straight up man in a dress that is not a transgender it is just a cross dresser who is being a pervert. I’ve been sexual harassed all my life and never worry about a transgender woman being in the bathroom. 1. Because we have stalls if she is pre-op (still has male part) she goes behind a door and pees. She is not going to whip it out. 2. They have been most likely ridiculed, harassed, or sexually asulted by others and can’t see them treating someone else the way they get treated. 3. Men who pursue evil intentions don’t need a bathroom policy. Like she said a park, toy section of store, etc. 4. This issue is about the same as blacks using same bathrooms and water fountains in the 50’s and 60’s because white government said we’d get diseases from them and shouldn’t get the right.

      • Sara
        April 26, 2016 at 5:08 PM

        Sorry for the typos was at work.

      • Jennifer Corry
        April 26, 2016 at 6:22 PM

        Bull. This has become an issue because some people, including highschools, are stupid enough to think people claiming to be trans should even get to use the locker room of the opposite sex. And some would welcome people who are very clearly men in women’s garb right into such rooms.

      • Felicia
        April 26, 2016 at 8:56 PM

        You are correct that trans have been using the restroom of their choice and there was no problem. You are incorrect about who made this an issue. The Charlotte City Council made this an issue when they passed an unnecessary and ill-conceived ordinance which failed when voted on by voters and which allowed people go to whichever restroom they prefer based solely on what they felt like at that moment. This law was championed by a convicted sexual predator. The general assembly acted to overturn this because 1) it FORCED private businesses to follow this policy, an egregious overreach of government power and 2) it opened the door not only to LGBT, who already used whichever restroom they identified with, but to sexual predators. Under HB2, Target is free to determine their bathroom policy, as they should be, and we as customers are free to shop there or not.

      • April 28, 2016 at 12:25 PM

        This is what I keep saying on my facebook page. I can’t change the view of my friends against this but I am so thankful that some agree with you and me

    • Emma
      April 26, 2016 at 5:15 PM

      Um. I’m sorry, but really? Really? REALLY? First of all, where in the living heck does it say that men are allowed in women’s bathrooms? And where’s your concern for the men and children using men’s restrooms? Women aren’t alone in sexual assault. Yes, they make up the majority of sexual assault cases, but little boys are harmed, too – and guess what, it’s usually at the hands of another man, sometimes even a priest! – so you probably shouldn’t let boys use public restrooms ever. Or spend time alone at church.
      Secondly, what I’m reading here is that you think sexual predators are going to start dressing up as the opposite sex, just to get into a public restroom, where they prey on victims. Guess what? This could have happened at ANY POINT IN THE LAST FOREVER.
      You clearly don’t know the transgender community whatsoever. Because if you did, you’d know that they could probably careless about you or your child, and just want to be treated with the same respect the rest of us give each other (which, sadly, doesn’t seem to be much these days) Just because someone is transgender – a struggle of confusion I hope to high Heaven your children never have to go through – doesn’t mean that they are automatically a sexual predator. In fact, the transgender/LGBT community is the most discriminated and harassed of all minorities. I’m pretty certain that the last thing they want, after all those struggles and victimizations, is to be also labeled as pedophiles and sexual predators.

      And finally, your comment : “Jesus once overturned tables and God’s wrath destroyed cities. I think that He is proud of those who stand up for what we believe is right” completely contradicts the author’s comment regarding John 13. As a pastor’s wife, can you please explain to me where God and Jesus draw the line? How is this not completely contradictory? In one breath, the author highlights God’s love for “everyone,” but in your response, you say that God will be proud of standing up for yourself and alludes to the fact you think God would be proud of you for discriminating.

      • Angi
        April 26, 2016 at 10:17 PM

        Actually one of the states with the oldest anti discrimination laws is Hawaii. It has been that way since 1997. There have been how many cases of children or women sexually assaulted in those bathrooms? Ummmm NONE!

      • Molested by priest
        April 26, 2016 at 10:38 PM

        I was one of those molested by a priest. Repeatedly. I was left alone with our family priest on numerous occasions. I did not want to go to church or school (a regions school) after the first time I was raped. Yes raped. It took me many years to be able to say that out loud. My parents did not want to hear about any of the “problems” that I had at school. They were too busy with other things to be concerned with what was happening with their children.

        Parents need to be involved with their children’s activities weather they like it or not. They need to know where they are… And who they are with at all times. Most of all… They need to be able to listen to their children.

        This is not about men in the women’s restroom or vice versa. This is about patents and family members not taking the time out of their busy lives to pay attention to what is going on around them. They feel that the government needs to either prot t them or legislate their morality. Either you are a moral person or you are not. This protest will change nothing. It will only promote fear and hate. We seem to have been trained to hate what we don’t understand. We need to change that. Do I hate all priests? No. Do I hate the one that raped me? Yes. Will I ever get over the hate? I don’t know. I doubt it. It is something an 8 year old never gets over. But I don’t close myself off to the world.

        If you want to protest a company… Protest Walmart. They let all the freaks in the stores. I never feel safe there ever!

        • Cathy
          April 28, 2016 at 12:16 PM

          So sorry for your pain. It doesn’t help to have so many people misunderstanding the issue. Making an example out of a retail store isn’t going to address the real problem, which is the enemy who rules this world. God calls us to fight with HIS righteousness, not self-righteousness. I believe His righteousness is much bigger than boycotting (although anyone can do so if they wish – think of all the parents who boycott the school system and home-school their kids). We shall know them by their fruits: love, joy, peace, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self-control. Not li

        • Cathy
          April 28, 2016 at 12:24 PM

          So sorry for your pain. It doesn’t help to have so many people misunderstanding the issue. Making an example out of a retail store isn’t going to address the real problem, which is the enemy who rules this world. God calls us to fight with HIS righteousness, not self-righteousness. I believe His righteousness is much bigger than boycotting (although anyone can do so if they wish – think of all the parents who boycott the school system and home-school their kids). We shall know them by their fruits: love, joy, peace, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self-control. Not listed: fear. May God bless you with His healing over your hurting spirit and soul. Jesus is the answer to your pain. Only He can make you into a new creation, free from the hurts of the past. I know this from personal experience 🙂

    • Beverly Sondag
      April 26, 2016 at 5:35 PM

      Don’t forget that the majority of child molestation is done by a trusted family member or friend. Many of them Christian. And every denomination is represented in the group of molesters.

      • Evan
        April 26, 2016 at 10:24 PM

        Yes. According to our own Dept. of Justice, 60% of child sexual abuser are people in the child’s life. That doesn’t include the extra 30% of abusers who are relatives. So of the remaining 10% of people, what are the odds that any of them are transgender people, given the miniscule portion of the population?

        That 60% scares me more.

    • Kathy
      April 26, 2016 at 6:24 PM

      I so wish you had read her post with an open mind. It seemed you skimmed her article but your mind was occupied composing your response. Unfortunate….because I truly believe we lose more souls with our “wrath” than we protect from perceived threats. Quite honestly, there is a possibility you have already shared a bathroom….anywhere….with a transgendered person. Maybe even a person who just went in the wrong bathroom. (Who will police this??) Meanwhile, The Great Commission does not send us out to turn over tables or condemn cities or boycott department stores. It is our command to magnify the Kingdom and bring others to Christ. How do we do that when we are focused on all the things the lost souls do to offend us?

      • Pamela
        April 26, 2016 at 8:52 PM

        Yes. This, exactly.

    • Gail
      April 26, 2016 at 6:40 PM

      Thank you Jessica! My thoughts exactly…..I don’t have a problem with transgenders I know they are children of God and I’m not to judge, He is the judge and jury. This policy of Target’s just makes it easier for women and children to be put in harms way of predators.

      • tony partrige
        April 26, 2016 at 10:23 PM

        i agree totally with you.what ever you are born with is the bathroom you should use. bowing down to ever little whem has got to stop. God says hate the sin not the sinner.

    • Jennifer
      April 26, 2016 at 6:48 PM

      Then as she stated, don’t use the bathroom at Target. It’s that simple. And it is absolutely about showing hatred. Read people’s post or comments, they are hate filled. And as a Christian, you should know that that’s exactly what Jesus would not want us to do.

    • Julie
      April 26, 2016 at 7:10 PM

      I think these “people” have been using our restrooms all along. No one asks for their birth certificate when they enter the restroom.

      • Felicity
        April 28, 2016 at 12:26 PM

        They are not “people”. They are people.

    • patsy
      April 26, 2016 at 7:59 PM

      I totally agree with you!

    • justhere
      April 26, 2016 at 8:14 PM

      “Though Target might offer family restrooms, they don’t offer family changing rooms..”

      I can’t even remember the last time I went to any clothing store and there were gender-specific changing rooms. Target, GAP, etc etc etc.

      Often times it’s just a narrow room of stalls, often not even having locking doors, just a curtain. Not sure why it’s such a concern all the sudden when this changes nothing in that regard for so many retailers, Target included.

    • Challis
      April 26, 2016 at 8:15 PM

      Hey Jessica, I want to clarify something…. Jesus overturned tables in the church as an act to prepare for Passover. There is a Jewish tradition of cleaning ones home of all leaven the night before Passover begins. Jesus’s act was on the literal day that Jews everywhere would be cleansing their home of all leaven. Leaven in the Bible is symbolic of sin. It was a MAJOR focus of the Jewish faith to cleanse their home in preparation for that holy celebration. Christ’s demonstration was a fulfillment of that act (prophecy being fulfilled from this tradition they had been holding long before his birth). It is important that we acknowledge WHY Christ did that and how significant the Timing of it was. Jesus was literally cleansing His Father’s house of all sin (leaven) in preparation of Passover and fulfillment of prophetic Jewish practices.
      Love to you and May God BLESS YOU!

    • Jo Ann
      April 26, 2016 at 8:17 PM

      I agree with you 100%

    • April 26, 2016 at 8:49 PM

      When one really understands statistics regarding the persons who are committing sexual assault then it’s much easier to lessen the concern towards decisions made by a company such as Target. Much of people’s fears and reactions are based on a lack of knowledge and understanding of who we should fear most. Unfortunately the majority of sex offenses are committed by family members, friends and acquaintances. Do your research people. Take a class in Sociology or Criminology. .

      • Felicity
        April 28, 2016 at 12:29 PM

        There’s too much science in Sociology for most Christians to deal with. Sociology is amazingly insightful and helps us to understand groups of people-people He created.

    • Stephanie
      April 26, 2016 at 8:59 PM

      1. This policy is not making it anymore unsafe than public bathrooms have always been. As a child in the 80s and 90s, I was never allowed to go into the public bathroom alone and even as a teen, I was taught to be extra cautious and to look at my surroundings. In college, I was attacked in a public restroom when I man followed me in and blocked the door. He wasn’t dressed like a woman. He didn’t need to be. He was intent on his mission to attack me.

      2. Most transgender people are not visibly noticeable. Many of them dress according to the gender they identify with and will proceed to the stall just like you or I. Most of the time, you wouldn’t even know.

      3. Women can hurt your children and you as well. There have been many instances of woman kidnapping children from the restroom.

      4. Of those 17.7 million sexual assaults, how many offenders have been upstanding citizens that would have been stopped by a store policy? They are breaking the law and facing jail time by assaulting other people. If they wanted to assault someone in a restroom, they would, but you know what…Target isn’t the ideal restroom to stage an attack. There are way too many people in and out of there that make it a very high risk area.

      Lets not be guided into the darkness by our fears, but lets live in the light and show a good example to our children.

    • Krissy
      April 26, 2016 at 9:06 PM

      Jesus overturned tables because he was mad at the religious for taking up space in the temple in the only place where the unsaved gentiles could go. The pharisees thought what they did was right but they didn’t get it. Their love of themselves blinded them to the need to love others.

    • Heidi Weinert
      April 26, 2016 at 9:14 PM

      Have you thought about the fact that the predators that aren’t going in the women’s room are going in the men’s room where your little boys have to go without you? No one is talking about this. I personally like the idea of being able to take my boys in the lady’s with me as long as possible. Use the family restrooms people.

    • Sarah
      April 26, 2016 at 9:22 PM

      Jessica, I also am a straight, conservative, pastor’s wife. I understand your point, but what bothers me is that we keep looking at the possibility of something happening because Target says it’s ok for a man/woman to enter a seemingly inappropriate restroom. When, perhaps we should be concentrating our efforts where it happens far more often… I was molested in my grandparents’ bedroom every weekend for 2 years. By a man who identified with being a man… and a Christian. He didn’t have to go to the trouble of wearing a dress. Imagine how many more kids we could actually save if we faced the bigger problem. Do I need to cite statistics or can we just move forward without throwing a fit about a possibility while turning our backs on a reality as we scream about our values and the slippery slope? We need to quit looking around and, instead, look in the mirror.

    • Tammy
      April 26, 2016 at 10:12 PM

      So…Just because Target is the only retailer verbally supporting this cause, how do you know there aren’t MANY more who aren’t verbal. What then?

    • Tyler
      April 26, 2016 at 10:16 PM

      Trans goes both ways my friend.. Women and little girls are not the only victims!!!! Little boys and young men are at risk as well

    • Reid
      April 26, 2016 at 10:16 PM

      Though not a conservative christian, the part of this law I feel like gets the least attention and would be the most persuasive to those concerned that Target’s law would jeopardize the safety of themselves or their children because it supposedly allows perverted men to throw on women’s clothing and pretend to be trans and assault women, to you and the others I ask: have you seen a trans man? Born-women who have transitioned to be men look just like every other man and the opposite of Target’s law (like the Law in North Carolina) where people must use the bathroom of their sex at birth, are not just forcing born-men who are now women into the mens room but born-women who are now men into the women’s room. With the opposite of the Target law, these supposed-peeping toms will not even have to dress up and pretend to be women. Since trans men, who look just like every other man (often beard and all) are now forced into the womens bathrooms in North Carolina, any man can just walk into a women’s bathroom without any sort of dressing up etc because they look the exact same as trans men. Target’s laws at least give these peeping tom’s a few extra hoops to jump through because the women’s bathroom will be used by people who identify as women, and would in fact be the safer alternative.

      While I still disavow the premise at all that men are dressing up like women and sexually assaulting them in the bathroom (sexual assaults rarely happen in public restrooms at places like target, and more often at night in bars/clubs/etc.) nor of any sort of security measure that prevents men from just walking in womens restrooms anyway (im sure everyone’s seen a guy accidentally walk into the wrong restroom), and I admire Target’s stand against laws that operate on this premise, even if the aforementioned peeping-tom/males dressing as women assaulting people in public restrooms was true Target’s laws wouldn’t make the bathrooms any less safe, unlike the new North Carolina law which now ensures that people who look exactly like any other man are forced to use the women’s room and would enable whatever predators there are to just walk in looking like a man.

    • Lucille Wade
      April 26, 2016 at 10:24 PM

      I agree totally with your stand on this issue. Let’s not make it easier for perverts! ?

    • Cassie
      April 26, 2016 at 10:41 PM

      I am trying to understand both sides. I am. However, as a child I was hurt by a “pervert.” This pervert was my father. The pervert was a pastor. Honestly, I don’t think letting all kinds of people in a bathroom is or was going to change perverts. Transgender does not equal pervert.

    • Kathy McGowan
      April 26, 2016 at 10:44 PM

      I totally agree with you on this. I will not shop at Target because of safety. I was a victim, several times, of sexual assault when I was a child. I do not want to ever go through that again. I also don’t want to be in the ladies room when some father or husband comes barging in to beat the crap out of some transgender or pedophile/rapist because his wife and child are in there. Yes, there will always be people who go over the top on these type of issues, like saying if you shop Target you’re not Christian. Since Jesus only saves humans, there will always be people like that. No matter what the issues are. As far as Target not being a Christian organization, that’s true, but this is not just a Christian issue, people of all faiths are concerned about this. Does anyone think that a Muslim is not worried about this too? Or even some atheists I’m sure. We have not even begun to see the ramifications of this yet. I personally will stay out of Target, at least until all this hoopla calms down. Anyway, they’re kind of expensive and their return policy stinks too!

    • Phebee
      April 26, 2016 at 10:52 PM

      Just so everyone knows…..Target has had Coed fitting rooms for years now! They also have “family” fitting rooms.
      Any true Target shopper would already have known this!!!!

    • April 27, 2016 at 6:15 AM

      I thank you for sharing that comment!! I agree with. Love is not the same thing as tolerance.

    • April 27, 2016 at 6:18 AM

      I agree Jessica!! Well said.

    • Ann
      April 28, 2016 at 10:44 AM

      I agree with you Jessica. Not about people’s choices of lifestyle. It is about the meanness of a society that this is opening the doors to harm others regardless to who it is. AND personally, I would be simple uncomfortable with ANY man being present while I am in the restroom. It is my private time to conduct MY private business. And I am a Christain mother of a Pastor.

    • BLS
      April 28, 2016 at 12:16 PM

      Jessica, I love your counter argument/response to Ministryinthemommyhood. The tone of the write up sounds a bit pushy and with a “I-know-better-than-anybody-else”. A dose of humility would do good.

  85. T L
    April 26, 2016 at 12:31 PM

    Thank you for this! This is the only opinion I’ve seen on this that makes any sense to me. As a pastor’s daughter I’ve also seen a lot of what you have seen in the church. I also can no longer identify with either political party because everyone has lost their minds. Thank you for saying what NEEDS to be said about this “issue” that people have made so huge somehow.

    • April 26, 2016 at 7:28 PM

      Brilliant! Almost totally agree. applaud you for your ‘considered ‘ (as in too many ppl to quick to react without thinking) all loving attitude. That is exactly what I consider a Christian. We are not blind to differences but in the end it all comes down to living and giving with love! I’m not overly religious but I do believe. I also believe if you are absolutely without sin and capable of judging others (your name is God or you’re telling lies)

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