If Today Were My Last…

Someone posed the question today, “what would you do if today was your last day on Earth.”  For whatever reason, this question struck me, and I really began to think about it.  I would not be so concerned about my to-do list, my grocery shopping or that last load of laundry waiting to be folded.  I would want every last second I had to be with my family…the family that, on any given day, can get on my nerves or bring me insane joy! 
I would want to take Ethnee somewhere quiet.  I would swing on a hammock with her and listen as she talked endlessly about her day…conversations that I may or may not pay attention to on other days.  I would hold her in my arms and tell her that I think she’s smart and beautiful and that she’s going to be able to accomplish anything that she sets her mind to.  I would make sure she knows how proud I am of her.  I would talk to her about how old she wants to be when she gets married and how many children she thinks she’ll have and what her greatest dreams are.  Then I would tell her again that she could do ANYTHING she sets her mind to.  I would hold her hand and then show her how her fingers look just like mine.  I would tell silly jokes that make her laugh, knock-knock jokes that she would continue to tell for months to come.  I would remind her that becoming her mommy was one of the greatest accomplishments of my life.  I would tell her 1,000 times how much I loved her until I was sure she would never forget.
I would take Hailee and sit with her in front of a mirror.  Criss-cross applesauce…with her on my lap.  I would point out each tiny thing about her that I think is beautiful.  I would tell her how I love the way her eyes sparkle when she’s happy.  I would talk about her sweet little nose and her chubby cheeks.  I would tell her that I love it when she smiles so big that I can see her gums.  I would tell her that I remember when each little freckle appeared on her body, particularly the one in her armpit.  I would tell her that her giggle is one of my favorite sounds in the whole world…a sound I could listen to forever and ever.  I would tickle-rub her belly and back…and laugh when it makes her eyes roll back and her whole body relax.  I would tell her that she was beautiful…one of the most beautiful things I had ever seen.  I would tell her that when she would smile at me as a baby, I would always think of sunshine.  Seeing her smile still fills me with warmth and joy.  I would tell her that I always wanted her to smile, no matter what.  I would tell her 1,000 times how much I loved her until I was sure she would never forget.
I would take Rhylee to a park with a big open field.  I would watch her run and play and get filthy dirty.  I would watch her explore and show me each little, curious thing.  I would push her higher on the swing than ever before just to watch her soar.  I would lay in the grass with her and talk about nothing, just to hear how she makes up words.  I would kiss her cheeks and nose and tickle her tummy until her giggling was uncontrollable.  I would play airplane and spin her around again and again and then hold her in my arms like the baby that she is to me.  I would kiss her chin and the part of her jawbone right back by her ear…the spot that makes her laugh.  I would bottle that laughter and hold onto it with everything I had.  I would tell her that she’s precious.  I would tell her that she’s beautiful and that she’s my baby, no matter how many times she reminded me that she was a “bid deal” (big girl).  I would tell her that she would always be my baby.  I would tell her 1,000 times how much I loved her until I was sure she would never forget.
I would spend my evening with Russ.  I would find a big open field out in the country…the kind where you can see all the stars at night.  We would lay in the bed of his truck and look up at the stars and have one last conversation about where we would go and what we would do if we had all the money and time in the world.  We would talk about our love and hopes and dreams for our girls.  I would tell him that I’m proud of him, so very proud.  I would tell him that I would choose him again…1,000 times everyday if I had it to do all over again.  I would tell him that he makes me happy, no matter how moody I can get.  I would tell him to dream big, no matter who tried to hold him back.  I would tell him to hold on to the promises that have been spoken over him because I KNOW they will come to pass.  I would tell him that he can do anything…he has proven that to me time and time again.  I would tell him to love our girls the way a good Texan daddy does…and to use guns if necessary when boys came around.  I would tell him 1,000 times how much I loved him until I was sure he would never forget.
That is what I would do if today was my last day on Earth.  I thought and thought about this and then realized, why don’t I?  None of us are promised tomorrow.  The dishes can wait.  The laundry will still be there.  But I want them to know 1,000 times how much I love them!       

  1 comment for “If Today Were My Last…

  1. October 6, 2011 at 3:19 PM

    Okay. . .so, now I’m blubbering like a baby! So beautiful, sweet Jaci. How very blessed Russ, Ethnee, Hailee, Rhylee, and the new little one on the way are to have a loving, caring wife and mother like you. Love you, dear one.

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